


A Secret

by zellymaybloom



Series: 50 Day Personal Writing Challenge [21]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-25
Updated: 2017-06-25
Packaged: 2018-11-18 16:51:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11294760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zellymaybloom/pseuds/zellymaybloom
Summary: “H-hey… So um, I uh, I have a secret? I just - I just thought maybe, maybe I should tell you? Because you’re my, my best friend and all. We shouldn’t - we shouldn’t keep secrets. That’s not like, um, if you have a secret, you don’t have to - to tell me. I mean, I’d love if you did, um, but. Just… You don’t have to,” he said with a tone of finality. Mentally, he gave himself a pat on the back. He was done.“So… What’s the secret?” Connor asked.Of course, he forgot to actually tell him.





	A Secret

**Author's Note:**

> hoooooly fuck I was supposed to write this yesterday but I didn't lol after this I have to write another before the day ends lmao rip okay anyway tell me my typos because there w i l l be many typos thanks okay bye enjoy

Sheltered by the gentle shade of the rustling leaves, Evan rested his head on Connor’s shoulder. The sunlight filtered through, painting gentle golden spots across their skin and the surrounding land. The rays’ warmth contrasted against the cool grass they sat on. As they lay with their backs against the tree, the scratchy bark caught on the fabric of their shirts as as they shifted towards each other.

Evan looked up to his friend as he smiled softly down at him. Then, Connor rested his head back against the trunk and closed his eyes. Although he wouldn’t see it, Evan smiled back at him. He had been harbouring feelings for him for quite some time. It took him forever to come to terms with it. He used to like Connor’s sister, but then she just wanted to be friends. He was pretty upset about it, but at the time, Connor had tried to comfort him. The exchange had been awkward. Connor didn’t know what to say, and Evan didn’t know what to think. Both of them were a little unsure why they were talking to each other. Still, they uncomfortable pushed through and ended up becoming wonderful friends.

Evan hoped they could be… Wonderful boyfriends. He grew to love the things he did. He loved the crinkle in his eyes during his rare smiles. The subtle upturn of his lips during those were absolutely charming. His face would look hesitant but amused at whatever it was. To Evan, it often seemed to be him. He noticed Connor would lean his head back as he smiled, but forward when he laughed. He liked to think that it was to display that little smile, and in anticipation of another joke. He could just listen Connor just drum his fingers on a table for hours. He always seemed to do it in a true random way. Evan would always try and look for some pattern but never succeeded. Maybe he wasn’t looking hard enough, or maybe it was really was truly random. Whatever it was, Evan could sit in silence with him for the longest time, even if he wasn’t drumming some rhythm that wasn’t real.

This was the closest friendship he’s had in awhile, so there was no way he wanted to mess it up.

Though, the least he could do was tell him he was bisexual he figured. Afterall, if he made him realize it, he should probably know. Tentatively, he nudged Connor’s arm to wake him from the nap. He watched as his eyes fluttered open, revealing his stunning eyes, which constantly blew him away.

“H-hey… So um, I uh, I have a secret? I just - I just thought maybe, maybe I should tell you? Because you’re my, my best friend and all. We shouldn’t - we shouldn’t keep secrets. That’s not like, um, if you have a secret, you don’t  _ have _ to - to tell me. I mean, I’d love if you did, um, but. Just… You don’t have to,” he said with a tone of finality. Mentally, he gave himself a pat on the back. He was done.

“So… What’s the secret?” Connor asked.

_ Of course _ , he forgot to actually tell him.

Reddening in embarrassment, he started to stammer out an apology and hopefully this time, the actual confession. “Oh! Um, uh… Sorry. About that. I didn’t mean. Oh, gosh, um okay. So… Uh… I’m… Bisexual? I guess. Yeah!” He attempted to laugh casually to conceal his stress. It sounded shaky, nor did it match his body language. As his heart rate picked up, he began to tremble in worry. His hands were growing sweaty; actually, practically all of him was becoming sweaty. He rubbed the back of his neck as he stared at the ground, away from his friend.

Connor’s reaction was fairly anticlimactic. He pursed his lips as his eyebrows shot up for a second. He didn’t seem unnerved. Placing a single hand on Evan’s shoulder, he simply said, “Hm. Well, I’m gay so there’s that.”

At that, Evan’s gaze snapped back up to meet his. “W-what? Really?”

Connor huffed in amusement, “Of course. Who the hell would make up that shit?”

“I… Yeah. I guess you’re right.”

“Mhm. Well, anyway. I gotta ask… Like, I always used to say, ‘Oh hey Evan. Got any girls you like?’ but I suppose now I can be more general. So. Hey Evan, got anyone you like? Any  _ dudes _ I should know about?”

Evan hadn’t thought ahead this far. He hadn’t anticipated any of this. He was hoping he’d be able to close the discussion here. He didn’t want to tell him or anything. Panicking, he lied, “No! Noooo… Not at all. Not. Anyone. No one. There is no one. At all.”

To his dismay, Connor caught on immediately. “Oh come on,” he complained, “Didn’t you just say we shouldn’t keep secrets like a minute ago?”

Inwardly, Evan cursed at himself. Well, now there was no avoiding it. Desperately, he tried to stall as he explained, “O-okay fine! I do like someone. I guess. I don’t um - I don’t know how to, to say this. Um… Okay so… I don’t want to ruin our - our friendship, but I just… It’s you?”

He paused for a moment gauging Connor’s expression. His eyes were widened just a bit, and his shoulders were brought up. At some point, he had drawn his legs in so he was now hugging his knees. Now, a soft shade of pink was slowly creeping across his face. However, he didn’t say anything. He just stared.

Worried he had put him off, Evan began to apologize. “I’m sorry, I know this is weird now! You just - you just asked, and so I figured I should answer, and oh my gosh I messed up didn’t I? I um,” his eyes were starting to water from his emotions, “I didn’t mean to - to ruin this thing I’m sorry this was my fault I should-”

He stopped talking when he felt a gentle hand hold his cheek. Connor had uncurled from his small ball as he turn looked to him, or his lips rather, as he said, “Just shut up and kiss me,” with a grin as leant in.

As Evan felt his lips on his, he let out an undignified, “Wha - mmph!” as he had tried to say something. Closing his eyes, he just did his best to do what he assumed a kiss was as he moved his lips against his. The feeling was foreign. Evan had always seen people kiss and thought it rather strange, but as he felt it for the first time, he began to see why people liked it. Connor’s lips were soft and tasted of smoke, honey, and some strawberry ice cream from earlier. The hand on his cheek slid down to his shoulder, to his arm, and then to hold his hand. Meanwhile, his own had moved up to tangle in Connor’s long hair. In the moment, he didn’t think he could feel his face get any warmer. Although, the heat felt good in a strange way. He couldn’t believe his senses. He certainly didn’t believe it when he heard himself make a small whining noise when he rushed back in as Connor pulled back for air. He did, though, believe the low chuckle Connor made as he returned to kiss, much more eager than it was before.

When Evan himself had to pull away from it, he laughed as he rested his forehead against Connor’s.

“Um… That was… Nice.”

“Really?” Connor looked at him incredulously. “I had no idea what I was doing.”

“I didn’t either.”

“Well... It looks like we’re gonna’ have to do that more often.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hey!! So!! I hope!!! You!!! ENJOYED!!!! Find me on tumblr [@zellymaybloom](https://zellymaybloom.tumblr.com)!! P l e a s e. Anyway, have a good good saucy 10/10 the most fun day!!!


End file.
